Edging: Top tips for better, stronger orgasms

orgasm edging o-diaries

Do you want more intense, explosive orgasms? I mean, don’t we all? Well, look no further. You don’t need a bunch of fancy moves to make incredible orgasms happen. While every single body is different, most people will love this little trick we have for you.

How to start edging

Edging is a simple sexual technique that can be used to increase overall sexual satisfaction. You stimulate yourself or your partner to the point of almost-orgasm. Stop. Take a beat. And then start all over again. “Edging is actively prolonging the time before orgasm by noticing when you are getting close to the point of no return and pulling back,” explains Kenneth Play, a sex-hacker and international sex expert. “You can either dial down your arousal much lower at this point and build it back up, or try to stay near the ‘edge’ of orgasm for a long time without actually [coming.]”

Here’s what you should know about edging, why it’s so awesome, and how you can bring it into the bedroom.

How does edging work?

I’m guessing you probably read the intro and the brief explainer on what edging is and are wondering how exactly this all of this works. Stimulating someone to the point of almost-orgasm? How can you even do that?

You need to communicate and trust yourself and your partner. “The idea is to get as close to climax as possible without having a release. This ebb and flow of pleasure can be repeated until the person is ready to orgasm,” explains Charyn Pfeuffer, sex writer and author of 101 Ways to Rock Online Dating. “When edging is done by a partner who decides when the recipient may come, it’s known as orgasm control.”

Basically, for vulva owners, you use your hand or a sex toy for external or internal play. For dual stimulation, try the Womanizer DUO 2 for blended clitoral and g-spot love. When you feel like you’re getting close to orgasm, stop what you’re doing. It won’t be easy, but it is worth it.

Womanizer DUO 2

Even classics can be improved – and that includes the rabbit. This dual stimulator uses air suction massage and deep powerful internal vibes for the ultimate blended orgasm. Try edging with this toy by increasing the toy intensity to a high level and then reduce quickly. Repeat this in waves until you are absolutely desperate for relief and enjoy the O!

liberty by lily allen o-diaries

LIBERTY by Lily Allen

Set your orgasms free with this handy, compact toy. This is not only perfect for edging because you can literally lift the toy off and back onto the clitoris with a quick movement, but the powerful massager levels span a range of intensities so you can surge forward, then retreat a little. Keep going until you can’t handle anymore!

“Eventually, with edging, you do finally allow yourself that release and it feels stronger and more powerful than your traditional orgasms,” says Zachary Zane, sex and relationship columnist at Men’s Health.

How does edging give you a better orgasm?

The biggest benefit of this technique is the intensity of orgasm that you’ll experience when you finally get to that point. This is clearly the most obvious plus. However, orgasm is not the end of the yellow brick road, pals. Edging can do all sorts of wonders for your sexual experiences.

Edging is not just about orgasms. It’s also about trust and power dynamics. It can give you pleasure, but it can also bring you closer to a partner and help you get to know your own body’s threshold for different kinds of stimulation.

As Play says, you can “expand the time when we are having the highest amount of pleasure. To turn an involuntary space into a more voluntary space. To increase the intensity of the orgasm at the end. To engage in mindfulness and awareness of your own body and nervous system, so that you can gain control over your arousal levels. Once you gain this kind of awareness and control you can expand this to other aspects of sex, and it can be really beneficial for you and your lover.”

Edging can also be used to help with all kinds of issues one might be having around climax, ranging from trouble orgasming to premature ejaculation. “When you practice edging, you learn what things make you more likely to orgasm and how to control orgasming too quickly,” Pfeuffer says. “This tends to be more useful for men, who have a refractory period and need to stop penile penetration after ejaculation.”

How to get started

If you’re a bit intimidated, don’t be. This may sound kind of severe, but it’s really quite straightforward once you get the hang of it. Like all things in life, sexual or otherwise, this will take some practice. Nothing we try the first time goes perfectly and that’s just the way it is.

Start with a conversation with your partner – or if you’re on your own, take a minute to connect with yourself. This technique takes commitment by all involved – everyone will need to be enthusiastically on board to give it whirl.

Play says that you should begin by using relaxation techniques in order to calm down your nervous system. This will help you maintain awareness over your body and be more conscious of when you’re getting close to orgasm. “First, you need to develop more focus and awareness of sensations of pleasure, and to notice when you are tense or relaxed during sex. So start by focusing on the pleasure in specific, while trying to relax as much as you can in any muscles that you aren’t actively using,” he says.

“Really, all you need to do is bring yourself to the brink of orgasm– but not TOO close that you do accidentally end up orgasming. You don’t want to reach what’s commonly referred to as ‘the point of no return.’ At that point, stop touching yourself. Take deep belly (diaphragmatic) breaths for at least 30 seconds, and then start up masturbating again. Go ahead and repeat that process as many times as you want,” Pfeuffer explains.

Arcwave Ion O-Diaries

Arcwave Ion

As far as strokers go, Ion is the next level. This toy can not only give you the ultimate frenulum stimulation, you can also enjoy intense, deep vibes that will send you sky-high. Simply reduce the toy’s intensity and increase it again until you’re ready for an intense orgasm.

We-Vibe Vector

We-Vibe Verge

Anal play is the perfect way to enjoy edging. The highly sensitive area is often underrated and it’s worth exploring. With the help of an anal toy, you can increase the toy’s intensity yourself and play solo – or with We-Connect, you can hand control over to you partner and really let go!

Once you feel comfortable with your edging, you can get creative with it. “Whether you are a man or woman, you can use the space to create a new experience of orgasm,” Play says. “You can stimulate a new area on the body along with the area you were originally stimulating. Or, you can switch to a new erogenous area, to try to have a new type of orgasm altogether.” 

Gigi Engle is a Womanizer sexpert, certified sexologist, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.

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Gigi Engle is a sexologist, certified sex coach, and feminist author. She teaches about pleasure-based sex education, masturbation, and the magical wonders that are sex toys. Engle's work has appeared in many publications her articles have been shared over 50 million times. She also writes a popular advice column called Ask Gigi, and her first book, All The F*cking Mistakes: a guide to sex, love, and life, debuts in January 2020. She has a degree in both English and Journalism from Fordham University College at Lincoln Center. Engle is an original member of The Women of Sex Tech and a certified member the World Association of Sex Coaches.