I am fat. It’s a fact. But it’s also a fact that I don’t sleep with men out of sheer desperation. No matter how many still cling to this ridiculous idea. For many slim women and men, sex with fat people is still a minefield and even a taboo subject. Yet the sex can be great. And I’ll tell you how…
I have gone through many phases in my life. But one thing I’ve always been is fat. Even in high school… long before Body Positivity and Body Neutrality. I went on countless diets until one day, slowly but surely, I began to accept myself… and, yes, love myself. This is important to mention, because I don’t try to hide anything. Not even in the relevant dating apps. I show full body pictures of myself and it becomes clear: I am fat. So that my counterpart really, really understands that. Nevertheless, as a precaution I always ask this one question once we begin to chat: “How long have you been into fat women?”
The answers are often very different. For my part, I just want to make sure that I don’t get stuck with a fatphobic guy. Rarely, but still every once in a while, I sleep with a fat fetishist. It makes me feel like a goddess. But I prefer the “normal” guys. And I have a few tips for you.
#1: Get a grip
I think most fat people agree with me here. We want to be touched – and preferably everywhere. Even where it might be uncomfortable. I’m talking about the FUPA. This stands for “Fat Upper Pelvic Area” and it’s the area of fat above my vagina. This area is rarely or never touched…which just shows me that it is avoided. But yo! When you get into bed with a slim person, you accept the blemishes, the nasty moles or the unattractive back hair. So do the same when you have sex with a fat person. In other words: get up close and personal with the body of the other person. No matter what size he or she is.
#2: Don’t say it
No matter how much it wants to leave your lips, don’t whisper in my ear about how you always wanted to make love to a fat woman. No joke, you’re not special. PornHub & Co. are full of videos that serve these very fantasies. And nobody, really nobody, feels better when he or she is told that he or she is essentially a fetish. So save it!
#3: Become experimental
Yeah, there’s no question. Knowing some positions or aids can be helpful in having fulfilling sex with fat people. But please leave the wedge pillow out of the eequation for now…
Instead, just have a few more pillows ready in bed and, when in doubt, put one under the pelvis so that my vagina is easier for you to reach… Leave the acrobatics in the shower, and just finger me in the bathtub. Or just fuck me on the floor.
And yes, some acrobatic positions are not possible for fat people, so use sex toys to bring more variety into your lovemaking.
#4: Give us some credit
Once again, fat people do not sleep with other people out of desperation. And we have as much sexual desire and knowledge as anyone else. Maybe even more, because I have been dealing with my body all my life, I know exactly what I like…and what I don’t like! So don’t think that I’ll let anything go or have anything done to me, just because I might be “unfuckable” for one person or another.
Trust me and just try it out. You’d be surprised how good fat people can be in bed.