Sex after birth: When is it okay to have sex again?


The first few weeks after childbirth will see most parents in a state of emotional chaos. Your normal schedule is turned upside down with diaper changes, sleepless nights, perpetual fatigue and new priorities. There is often almost no time for even thinking about sex. However, at some point the urge returns – the desire for sex!  And it’s something to be excited about! Even so, this also brings up some important questions: will sex hurt now? What needs to be avoided and how has your body changed from pregnancy and giving birth? 

Waiting approximately four to six weeks after childbirth 

As a rule, gynecologists advise women to wait at least four to six weeks after giving birth. The reason: After the placenta has detached, a wound remains in the uterus of the female body. This must heal. During this time, the lochia leaves your body, which is a postnatal discharge made up of the remaining blood and uterine lining. It’s completely natural, however the risk of contracting an infection during this time is incredibly high. If you really can’t keep your hands off each other, then it’s a good idea to use a condom. 

Sex after birth: Is it painful? 

It can be quite common for women to experience pain after childbirth, especially if an episiotomy was necessary during childbirth. For this reason, it is really encouraged that you wait to have sex until any tears have completely healed. As the uterus remains enlarged for the first few weeks after giving birth, discomfort from the penis pushing against the uterus can also be an issue.  

So maybe while you’re waiting for everything to completely heal, you can pass the time with some suitable toys? For example, the Womanizer PREMIUM is a clitoral stimulator that is gentle on the clitoris with its Pleasure Air™ technology – and doesn’t require penetration. Instead the 12 levels of intensity are so well-designed that even the lowest level will make you feel great, which is especially ideal for those who want to start slowly and avoid overstimulating the sensitive vaginal and clitoral areas. 

3 Things to know about having sex after birth:

  • It might not feel so good at first: Giving birth, vaginally or via C-section, can really take its toll on the body. Plus, reduced estrogen levels can drop dramatically after having a baby, and this can cause similar symptoms to early menopause. This not only means hot flashes and night sweats, but also vaginal dryness.
  • Your vagina might feel a little different: As your body prepares to give birth, hormones can relax the pelvic rim to help ease the baby out of the birth canal.
  • It’s important to reconnect: While you shouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself to be intimate with your partner, it is vital to make an effort to bond physically. This doesn’t have to be penetrative sex, of course. Just by taking a break from the parenting role, you and your partner can evade the dreaded “sleepless roommate” dynamic.

The first time after being pregnant can be an extremely stressful time for some women. As the memory of giving birth is so fresh, feelings of desire may be lower than usual. That is also completely natural. It is vital to trust in your body! 

How exactly has the body changed? 

And while we’re on the topic of changing bodies, there are some effects of giving birth. The vagina is often quite stretched right after delivering a baby. However, the vagina is a sophisticated part of the body and contracts again as time passes. Along with pelvic floor exercises and support products, you can also strengthen the muscles yourself. There are even courses available for this. 

If you have decided to breastfeed your child, your estrogen level will also sink. A consequence of this is that you might not have as much natural lubrication as you usually do. But don’t worry, that’s what lube is for!  


pjur aqua woman This water-based premium personal lubricant was developed specifically for women to meet the needs of their skin.


pjur Original This formula is great as a personal lubricant and a massage gel. The silicone molecules remain on the surface of the skin and are not absorbed.

Some women are also quite insecure about their bodies after pregnancy. They may weigh more than they did before the pregnancy and some struggle with connective tissue damage. Others even believe that their vagina or entire vulva is not as attractive as it once was. These fears are understandable but you just need to speak openly with your partner and feel confident in yourself… 

And what about contraception? 

Rumors persist online in forums and blogs, claiming that women are not fertile for at least one year after giving birth and can’t get pregnant. This is completely false! In fact, it is actually quite easy to get pregnant after giving birth. For this reason, using contraception remains important. You can try condoms or even the pill. However, be aware that if you are breastfeeding, you can not take the traditional oestrogen-based birth control pills. They should be avoided as they can reduce breast milk production. 

Making sure sex after birth feels GOOD

It’s a good idea to consider sex after giving birth as a new beginning. Does it feel especially exciting and fresh? Then that is great! Use this spark to conquer insecurities and find joy in being touched. Cuddle. Take pleasure in being close to one another. The next steps usually come quite naturally… 

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Frieda worked as a freelance journalist for over 10 years: She used to write about Easter recipes and style icons, about human metabolism and Michelin-rated restaurants. In short: about everything, except for sex. And for a good reason. Frieda always considered herself to be an average sexual person for all those years. Until a breakup persuaded her to stop taking the pill, which she had been on for 14 years. It was then, at the age of 28, that she finally discovered her wonderful sexuality and found her true, unique and hungry libido. Ever since, she has not only practiced a new sexuality. She writes and speaks about it too. And has never been as fulfilled as she is today!