Note: As recommended by anti-discrimination expert Tupoka Ogette, the terms “Black” and “White” are deliberately capitalised. They do not refer to the real skin colour or a biological characteristic. The anti-racism movement uses these terms to counter racism in language.
It is June – and, as you probably all know, Pride Month. A month where love and sexuality are wonderfully diverse. And, more importantly, they are in no way tied to gender, creed, origin or anything else. But this year, June 2020 means more than ever before. The protests in America and across the globe have demonstrated that we change is needed in all aspects of culture, including the dialogue around sex.
Who do you think of when you think of sex experts?
Sex is a topic that, thank God, is being talked about more openly than ever today. There are world-famous experts who have their say on this topic. It is undeniably a benefit to us all that people like Laura Berman, Ruth Westheimer, Esther Perel or Kenneth J. Zucker are so outspoken. But when we think of these well-known sex experts, we run the risk of not learning from a diverse range of voices. That’s because prominent experts in the field of sex education are usually White. Just in our language alone, racism is still deeply rooted, as author Tupoka Ogette emphasizes in her book “Exit Racism.” She says: “The words Black or White should be consciously capitalized, as they do not refer to real skin color or a biological characteristic. The anti-racism movement uses these terms to counter racism in language: ‘White’ and ‘being White’ are meant to refer to the social, political and cultural privileges of people, who are not exposed to racism and therefore find themselves in a more powerful, social position. “Black” and ‘being Black’ is a self-designation. Being Black means that people are connected through shared experiences of racism and are perceived in a certain way by society.
Today we want to introduce you to great Black sex and relationship experts, all of whom we should know. There’s no time like the present to expand your thinking and include more perspectives in your attitudes towards everything in life, include sex.
Demetria Lucas D’Oyley
Demetria, who was referred to as “the Black Carrie Bradshaw” in a Washington Post article, is a relationship coach, blogger and author. She founded a life coaching service to coach people in finding a partner and has also written an award-winning blog, “A Belle in Brooklyn.” Her most recent book, “Don’t Waste Your Pretty: The Go-To-Guide For Making Smarter Decisions In Life & Love” is a dating manifesto designed to encourage women to make smarter choices and live fuller lives.
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Self portrait. Dirty hair. (Day 9.) Trying to fight the urge to play with temp dye, bleach and scissors. It’ll either be pinker or blonder or shorter by sundown. (Sorry @therealaikolove) And curlier (currently Olaplex-ing.) I’m bored. Pray. Color: @cthomdmv #belleoftheburbs
Abiola’s mission is to change the lives of women around the world. As the award-winning author of “The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love“, she has been featured on platforms ranging from Essence to Match.com, and provides tips on healthy relationships, self-esteem and how to live with joy. Abiola is an NLB-certified Life Wellness Coach, an accomplished motivational speaker and lifestyle presenter of several television programs on channels from BET to NBC. Black Enterprise called her blog about self-development one of the top African American lifestyle blogs.
Yanni Brown is a relationship coach, author, speaker and blogger and there’s nothing she loves more than talking about romance. Therefore she has developed a series of programs to help couples cope with crises related to love, intimacy and relationships. She made a name for herself by appearing on the first season of OWN’s “Iyanla Fix My life” and is also a member of the Boss Network.
Dr. Drai is well known in the US and has an online weekly viewership that spans across the world. He says he lives his life on the basis of communication, compassion and commitment, while at the same time attaching great importance to a strong patient-doctor relationship. His passion lies in helping women in every stage of life and is based on his belief that every woman should receive the appropriate medical care she deserves. Dr. Drai is also featured in the media, including The Today Show, Women’s Health Magazine, BET.com, BlackDoctor.org, MadameNoire.com and many others.
Dalychia Saah and Rafaella Fiallo
Dalychia and Rafaella have jointly founded “Afrosexology” to address the issues of African American sexuality in workshops. Their keywords are “sex positivity” and they emphasize the importance of getting to know each other as human beings before exploring your own sexuality. In addition, it is important to them to start with sex education at an early age, so that sexuality does not become a taboo subject in the first place. With “Pillow Talk“, the two sex experts have their own blog, in which they pick up their most important topics again and again.
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We’re coming out with new merch soon which means we’re getting rid of some of our current items! Before we bring in the new, we’re having an “out with the old” sale. Head to our website to get 20% off of your sex positive merch! Sale ends 11:59pm on July 11th. Click the “our website” link in bio!
Whether you’re talking about love, sex, partnership or self-love – these topics are so important for a fulfilled life and we should never forget that we always have something to learn – and the more representation we have in our teachers, the better!