Meditation has many benefits but can it also help your sex life? Author Tom Wells dives into the world of sex meditation to find out how…
What is sex meditation and why do we need it?
“What is sex meditation?” I hear you ask. Well, first, a little preamble. Most of us are easily distracted. I know I am. Whether it’s our phones, constantly checking notifications or diving down YouTube rabbit holes, we live in a time where we consume more information than any other generation. And this sensory overload can impact your sex life. Our brains are always jumping from one place to the next, so we find it hard to concentrate on just one thing, even sex. This distraction can reduce orgasm quality, overall pleasure, or how connected you feel with your partner.
But there is a simple way to regain focus and always be present in the moment: sex meditation. For many, this may sound like quite an abstract idea, but really we are talking about breathing and concentration. By remedying any distracting thoughts, your mind focuses on the pleasure of the here and now. And when mind and body sync up, you can achieve a more intense orgasm.
Let’s take a look at how practicing some sex meditation and mindfulness techniques can clear your mind and strengthen your orgasms.
What is mindfulness and how does it apply to mediation and sex?
Mindfulness is the practice of being acutely aware of the situation you currently find yourself in. It is basically the opposite of being distracted.
Sexual pleasure peaks when the body and the mind are in sync. Our as Susan Piver, founder of the Open Heart Project Online Meditation Center, puts it: “In a sense, sex can be the ultimate mind-body practice. There is nothing more synchronized of body and mind than orgasm. That is the ultimate synchronization. Your discursive mind is turned off. You can’t be spaced out and have an orgasm.”
So, in other words, to feel aroused, the mind and body need to be in tune. But if the mind is distracted, then this can’t happen. And this is where sex meditation comes in. Through regular meditation, you can greatly improve your mindfulness, focus, and concentration. By clearing the clutter from your mind it’s easier for the body to sync with the mind. Harmonizing the body and mind during sex is sometimes called spiritual sex or soul sex, and is also the goal of other training methods including yoga sex exercises.
Another factor is stress. Any type of stress, lack of sleep, too much work, can impact your health, and when it comes to sex this includes erection quality, orgasm quality. So having less stress stored in the body will lead to better sex. Meditation has long been known to effectively reduce stress.
Does sex meditation work for masturbation as well?
Sex meditation doesn’t have any specific goals in mind. It is not a magic recipe for better sex, so practising meditation to last longer in bed is not the right approach. But it definitely can improve mindfulness and focus. Generally speaking, mindfulness can improve all forms of sexual enjoyment including solo sex/masturbation.
A note on prostate orgasms:
While sex meditation can benefit all types of masturbation, it can really be beneficial when it comes to prostate stimulation. This is because for many guys this stimulation is a little intimidating, as it is something completely new. However, many consider it the holy grail of orgasms after they try it.
Everybody is different, but in general orgasming from prostate stimulation takes patience and practice. This is where sex meditation can help. By doing mindfulness practices for a few minutes each day you can improve your ability to focus and to listen to your body. You can also put yourself in a relaxed state of mind which helps, too. Prostate massagers such as Vector make this process much easier and a lot more fun.
Sex meditation for couples
If you have a partner, it can help you both be present in the moment and be more synchronized. As improved mindfulness allows you to more naturally respond to each other’s sensations and desires. By both trying out sex meditation and mindfulness techniques, you can become more aware of your partner’s as well as your own pleasure. Practicing mindfulness meditation during sex can really increase intimacy and desire as well.
Quick sex meditation tips
Nowadays there are many great meditation apps out there and lots of great tutorials online.
Here are some general quick tips to help you meditate. Remember you can try meditation after sex, meditation before sex, and even meditation during sex.
- Breathe deeply and slowly
Whether you’re meditating or masturbating, allow your breath to connect with and send tingles down your body.
- Be present with your sensations
This sounds obvious but it is easy to get distracted. Instead of letting your mind wander, pay attention to everything your body is feeling.
- Allow yourself to experience a full range of emotions.
Some people feel lots of different emotions or thoughts when they start meditating. Don’t worry whether these are positive or negative, just be aware that they are there. With practice, fewer thoughts will break your focus.
- Set an intention for your meditation session
While aimless exploration can be fun, it’s more effective to know what you want to get out of your sex meditation session. This could be staying focused for 10 minutes, or trying to have a better orgasm, or simply feeling a new sensation.
What about tantric sex meditation?
By becoming more conscious during sex through meditation, you are effectively slowing sex down and noticing every bodily desire and response. This is effectively the definition of tantric sex, so by incorporating meditation into your sex habits, you have already started to go tantric. Of course, tantric sex is a broad topic, so check out this fun article to learn more about it.
Meditation for better sex
Any mediation techniques will work, so if you already have a routine keep doing that. It’s all about developing mindfulness, focus, and control. Once you get better at these skills, you will be able to enter this state of mind during sex. This will help bypass any performance anxiety or any sensation that might take you out of the moment. So give sex meditation a try – it can work wonders!