The O*Diaries team takes a look at a few simple ways men can improve their sex lives…
Sexual enjoyment is highly subjective. But there are some sex tips for men that can really boost your solo and couple sex life. Check out these tips to add a little spark to your sex.
Let’s start with male enjoyment.
Take your solo sex to the next level
How much do you enjoy masturbation? If you feel like spicing up your solo sex ritual, then read through these quick tips. The great thing is a lot of these tips can actually improve your sex life with your partner as well. Double whammy.
Solo sex tips for men #1: Change the position
Whatever your go-to jerking off position, try mixing it up. You can try bringing your knees to your chest or even raising your legs in the air. You may feel a little silly or self-conscious at first, but it can heighten the sensation.
Solo sex tips for men #2: Increase stimulation
You may not know but there is more to the male sexual organs than just the penis. Men also have erogenous zones that, when stimulated, can greatly heighten sexual pleasure. The taint or perineum is located between the balls and anus. Try touching it during masturbation. This indirectly stimulates the prostate. Don’t ignore your balls either. They contain lots of sensitive nerve endings, so try experimenting to see what sort of stimulation feels good.
Alternatively, mix things up with a toy on your sensitive spots. Ever heard of a stroker? The new Arcwave Ion has earned a reputation for offering more intense orgasms than ever before and is definitely worth a try…
Solo sex tips for men #3: Use your imagination rather than porn
While porn can totally be a part of a healthy sex life, laying off it for a while can work wonders. Porn can often lead to a kind of desensitization and make it harder to be mindful during masturbation. Try going a few days without and instead engage your imagination while masturbating. Get creative and you may be surprised how much more intense it feels.
Solo sex tips for men #4: Don’t fear the P-spot
Male prostate stimulation is sort of mythical like a unicorn. Guys have heard about it but are not fully sure it’s a real thing. But it’s real and can lead to incredibly powerful and awesome orgasms. You can start off indirectly stimulating the P-spot by applying pressure to the taint. When you are ready to venture inside, there are many sex toys for men that can make climaxing much easier like prostate massagers such as the Vector by WeVibe.
Solo sex tips for men #5. Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the ability to focus on what is happening in the moment, without any distractions. This skill can be trained through mindfulness exercises, mediation and yoga. Improving this skill over time will be able to apply your mindfulness skills to masturbation which can increase pleasure.
Take your couple sex to the next level
The great thing is that all of these masturbation tips are likely to boost your sex life with your partner as well. Link to Couple sex tips for men. The golden rule is that sex is not a performance sport. It’s a collaboration. With that in mind let’s explore some ways to improve your sex life with your partner.
Couple sex tips for men #1. Communication: Learn to express desires
This is by far the most important tip and in a way is the golden key to leading a fulfilled and healthy sex life.
How well do you know what your partner wants? When was the last time you asked? And how well have you communicated your own desires? It’s best not to make any assumptions, and even if you are sure you know what your partner likes, it’s good to ask them.
But how do you have this conversation with your partner? The best way is to simply let them know you would like to talk about each other’s desires to boost intimacy in the relationship. Set aside a little time and open a bottle of wine to lighten the mood. Next, go through each of your desires and really make sure to actively listen to the responses. It’s a two-way process. Depending on how well you know your partner, here are some good questions to ask:
- What is your favorite way to come (clitoral, vaginal, g-spot, combination, etc.)?
- Do you have a favorite way to stimulate your clitoris/is there a way you would prefer me to do it?
- Are there some erogenous zones that I don’t stimulate that you would like me to?
- Which positions do you enjoy most (and why)?
- What would you change about our sex in general (for example more foreplay)
Remember leave your ego at the door, and the answers to questions like these hold the answers to a new, improved and collaborative sex life.
Couple sex tips for men #2. Slow it down
While not true for everyone, in general guys operate on a much quicker timescale than women. Try slowing everything down, from the foreplay to the intercourse. Speak to your partner about the speed that she finds most enjoyable.
Couple sex tips for men #3. More foreplay
When it comes to foreplay tips for men, there is one that comes up again and again. Whether it’s online surveys or just chatting to female friends, women typically feel that their male partners don’t do enough foreplay for them to enjoy their sex to the max. Speak to your partner about this and see how she feels. More foreplay can lead to stronger and more powerful orgasms, and to more intimate sex. The most direct way to improve is to ask your partner directly about their preferences.
Couple sex tips for men #4. Foreplay isn’t foreplay
Foreplay is really a misleading term. It’s problematic because it can lead you to believe that once you have done it, you can then commence to the sex. This is not the right way to go, because most women cannot climax from vaginal stimulation alone. So, don’t stop stimulating the clit just because you have moved on to penetration. Remember to keep in mind how your partner likes to be stimulated.
Couple sex tips for men #5. Mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment without any distractions. Practicing mindfulness can help boost your sexual enjoyment. Two great ways to improve your mindfulness are meditation techniques and yoga positions.
Couple sex tips for men #6. Invest in a little sex tech
The sex tech industry is booming as demand for toys is skyrocketing. There is more choice than ever before. For couples there are plenty of great options to spice up your sex life. Why not try toys that stimulate both partners? A great place to start is a wearable cock ring such as the Pivot by We-Vibe that also stimulates the clit. Some smart sex toys even allow you to control your partner’s sensation through a mobile app, adding a surprise factor to distance relationships.
Take your sex life to the next level
While these tips can help improve your solo sex life and your couple sex, remember that the world of sexual pleasure is highly subjective, so mix and match and find what works for you. And above all communicate with your partner.
Check out our guide on useful sex hacks for men.
Sex and the City is a cult TV series and for a good reason. The 1990s HBO series was influential and set trends. Never before had women on television spoken so openly about their sexuality. Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha lived an emancipated lifestyle and in many cases were an inspiration to real women.