Tantric Sex: The What, The How, The Why

tantric sex

Most people will have heard of tantric sex before, but often that’s about as far as it goes. So, what is tantric sex? Does it share any similarities with the Kama Sutra? We’ve collected the most important tantric sex tips and must-knows about this intriguing ancient sexual practice.

How to do tantric sex

According to popular opinion, tantric sex is an exclusively Indian practice, but that’s not entirely correct. In translation, the term ‘tantra’ refers to an ‘instrument to expand the mind’. At its core, it’s all about connecting the external world with the inner, spiritual aspects of life – the interconnection of male and female principles. That’s why sexuality plays such an important role in this esoteric practice.

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Tantric sex positions

Tantric foreplay is all about a slow build-up of sexual energy. Unlike traditional lovemaking, tantric sex doesn’t start with penetration. On the contrary, the practice incorporates the use of extended foreplay, which can even include those moments before you first touch. Tantric foreplay is all about a slow, deliberate, measured build-up of sexual energy, stretched out across an extensive period of time. In other words, there’s no rush when it comes to tantric sex – and it’s about the technique rather than tantric sex positions.

So, is it just another version of slow sex? No, not necessarily. Tantric sex involves meditative exercises that awaken awareness of the body and intensify the experience of each other’s touch. However, one thing is essential to tantric sex: the full-body massage.


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Tantric sex techniques: tantric massage

Once again, the guiding tantric principle is: take your time! Authentic traditional rituals in Tantra can even last up to several days. Today, however, there are also shortened versions that can be integrated much better into modern everyday life.

Ideally you and your partner should create a relaxing atmosphere before a tantric massage. Music, candlelight or incense can be used to help set the right mood. Make sure that your smartphone and any other distractions are switched off.

A soothing massage oil can also be a welcome addition. Once everything is in place, it’s time for you and your partner to begin to explore each other’s naked body using your hands. This is best done in turn. In India, the prevailing idea is, that the body is divided into seven different energy centres. These are called chakras. In tantric practice, massages are used to facilitate energy flow through the body and boost sexual energy. This is how the sexual energy between the two of you is increased.

  • Eventually, you can begin to focus on the genital area. During a yoni massage, a woman’s intimate anatomy is extensively caressed and stimulated. Soft touches and circulating movements can be used to arouse the pleasure points of the vagina.
  • With the lingam massage, a man’s genitals are the main focus and gently caressed. With practice, one can learn to massage individual pressure points and effectively make his orgasm last longer.

The coming together: the finale of tantric sex

For the grand finale of tantric sex, yoni and lingam come together. In other words, your bodies combine and become one. Here again, however, it’s not about fast movements or a quick climax. Find a position that allows you to look deep into each other’s eyes. Love each other mindfully. Take breaks. Don’t worry, these can still be sensual. Direct your thoughts away from climaxing. That’s not what tantric sex is about. Instead, focus on your two bodies, your own body and your partner’s body. Listen inward. When it comes to tantric sex the journey is the reward, and sometimes rewards come in multiples.

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And what exactly is Tantra Yoga?

Tantra describes an erotic sexual act. But the term is also used for a special Yoga practice. More precisely: Kundalini Yoga. But what exactly is hidden behind the philosophy?

The basis is the Shiva Shakti philosophy. It describes the polarity of the universe. Shiva is the male symbol for consciousness and is considered passive. Shakti is the female symbol for energy and is active. There are three different types of Tantra-Yoga…

Three Types of Tantric Yoga

1. White Tantra

The main aim of white Tantra is purification. White Tantra is about being “open” again for the flow of energy and to purify the subconscious, as the mind can sometimes be vulnerable to blockages. In White Tantra, Kundalini Yoga and meditation are practised – usually with a partner. In this way, old and toxic thinking patterns are dissolved and energy flows are cleared.

2. Red Tantra

Red Tantra focuses on sexual unions with your partner as an energetic act. Simply put, it is about the merging of energies. These energy practices are intended to increase sexual pleasure and enhance the feeling of pleasure. Red Tantra can also help some people with orgasm problems.

3. Black Tantra

Black Tantra works to direct energies, but as the name suggest, Black Tantra is considered as the “bad” or “evil” form of Tantra-Yoga – and is often compared to black magic. It is used to manipulate people and their thoughts and to achieve selfish goals, like money, fame or power.

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Frieda worked as a freelance journalist for over 10 years: She used to write about Easter recipes and style icons, about human metabolism and Michelin-rated restaurants. In short: about everything, except for sex. And for a good reason. Frieda always considered herself to be an average sexual person for all those years. Until a breakup persuaded her to stop taking the pill, which she had been on for 14 years. It was then, at the age of 28, that she finally discovered her wonderful sexuality and found her true, unique and hungry libido. Ever since, she has not only practiced a new sexuality. She writes and speaks about it too. And has never been as fulfilled as she is today!