Love isn’t restricted to a certain age, that goes without saying. But what about sexuality later in life? Berlin-based researchers from the scientific journal “Psychology and Aging” have published their findings. The results? Sexuality is of course different in old age, but pleasure and intimacy continue to be a natural part of life, especially for women and even after menopause. How can women continue to have fun in bed? We reveal more…
#1: Rethink sexuality in older women
Passionately falling all over each other? Let’s be real, even young couples don’t do that – especially after a few months together. This is really just a bad cliché from movies. Rethink your perceptions of sex and don’t simplify the term to just sexual intercourse. Sexuality is also about physical contact and intimate exchange. This will also reduce the pressure to “finish.” Instead, embrace the fact that sexuality can change as women age – and that’s perfectly natural.
#2: Take your time with foreplay
Women’s hormone levels can sometimes change during menopause. This might also reduce any desire for sex. Even so, women can still be aroused, which is why foreplay remains so vital. This goes for men too. Due to an increase in testosterone in later life, men can sometimes have trouble getting an erection. This is where extensive foreplay also helps.
#3: Embrace the power of lube
A common symptom during or after menopause is vaginal dryness. This can sometimes cause a burning pain from penetration, which dramatically reduces the sense of pleasure too. However, this is easily solved – that’s what lubricating gels are for! Everything goes a lot more smoothly and sex is a lot more enjoyable. The lubricant increases both intensity and pleasure – for both men and women.
Our tip is to use water-based lubes as this is especially gentle on vaginal flora and can be used with toys too.
#4: Take advantage of handy helpers
This brings us to the next tip: to be a sexually fulfilled woman at any age, you don’t necessarily require a partner. If you want to get to know your own body and rediscover your sense of lust, vibrators and clitoral stimulators can be really helpful. This is also beneficial if you do happen to have a partner, as once you know your own hotspots, you can easily point them out to your special someone.
#5: Get comfortable
No, nobody needs to try out every position in the Karma Sutra to experience fulfilling sex in their later years. The truth is, the joints may be a little less flexible and the muscles a little less loose. Don’t worry, there are still comfortable and enjoyable positions like classic spooning or even scissoring (a modification of the standard missionary position). Even a small pillow under the hip can be a game changer and make sex more comfortable for you both. Who says sex always needs to be exhausting?
#6: Get all the support you need
And we mean that literally. As you get older, it might not feel as natural to stay in positions like the cowgirl for a longer period of time. Rather than feel awkward or sore, adapt. Our favorite tip is to start using extra items around the house like chairs.
By simply including a chair with sex, there are a few new positions for you to try and they will all let you and your partner feel comfortable and in control. These include:
- Sitting on your partner’s lap facing away from them: As both of you have your feet on the floor, you can take the pressure off your arms and feel in control of your motion and depth of penetration.
- Facing your partner on his lap: If your chair is big enough or you’re on the couch, this position is also great as the cushioning is gentle on your knees and you can use the back of the chair to help you shift your weight back and forth.
- Bent over the chair: This variation on doggy style is also good for people with sore knees. One partner can enter from behind while the person in front is free to not only brace themselves on the chair in front but also relax against it too when they need a break.
#7: Green is good
As you get older, your body changes. That’s just a fact. But still, people can often feel insecure or uncomfortable. This then means they have trouble relaxing and can even find themselves unable to enjoy the moment.
Our tip is to enjoy a little CBD beforehand. This will not only get you feeling more relaxed, but there is often an aphrodisiac effect too. It’s win-win!