Fall is here and so are the requisite pumpkin spice flavored candles, cookies, lattes, beer and dare I say condoms and lube. Yes, I’ve seen these items on the shelf! As someone who doesn’t go gaga over this yearly ubiquitous flavor, I do love fall as a season. While the leaves turn vibrant reds and gleaming golds, their colorful drama feels like an invitation to go inwards, reflect and reset.
Summer serves sex and romance on a roller coaster – all extrovert, donning a disco bikini, blasting techno from her bike off to the next big thang. Fall’s take on sex and romance textures itself in nostalgia with a tinge of deep, slow desire. Think cozy sweaters and pants paired with lacy lingerie waiting to be discovered.
Here’s my invitation to you (and me!) to relish this fall by finding deeper ways to connect with ourselves. We’re doing self-care autumn!
The Weekly Date
I’ve been starting and stopping Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way for months now. Fancy free and on the move, summer proved too fickle for the 12-week self-led course in reclaiming creativity. Fall feels right. If this doesn’t interest you, I would recommend her weekly ‘artist date’ practice. Focused on nourishing your creative spirit, the weekly date is self-care practice for you and you alone.
Your weekly date can be playful and curious. Visit a museum or a part of town you don’t normally go to. Peruse flea markets, secondhand shops or go to an estate sale. If you’re on a budget, take a long walk without your phone and practice paying attention to the sights and sounds around you. Work, relationships and parenting take a lot of output. The weekly solo date is meant for receiving.
Declutter and Donate
Giving your living space a refresh helps with lightening the mood as the days get darker. Maybe start with the summer clothes you didn’t wear at all and work backwards through the seasons. You’ll have more perspective on what you really wore last year versus what you thought you would…and didn’t.
Or rethink your fall wardrobe with an attitude of a little self-reinvention. Slim down those sweater piles – for every three you let go of, treat yourself to a new power blazer or bright knit. Have a friend over who can serve as the voice of reason if you’re particularly ‘hoardy’.
And of course, donate to a local organization!
Boundaries & Bedtime
Most summer calendars are jam packed – why not declutter your autumn schedule as well as your closet? Prioritize self-care and boundaries instead people pleasing and over committing. The holiday season is coming with added stress, travel and socializing – so, take the time now to slow down and give your body rest and rejuvenation.
I’ve challenged myself to unwind with a book or some gentle yoga before bed instead of the fifty million ways to stare at a screen. Yes, it’s super hard and I still struggle with wanting to take the latest Love Is Blind episode to bed with me. However, I do notice the quality of sleep comparison feels different. Screens affect our brain’s ability to release the hormone melatonin at night to help us drift off to sleep.
You might notice a slight detox vibe if you’re particularly reliant on the screen. Full transparency, I use my laptop as some sort of adult pacifier and pass out with Netflix just rolling along. When I ‘cut’ myself off, falling to sleep can be a struggle for the first night or two.
Find New Pleasure Paths
Last but certainly not least, let’s talk pleasure and self-care. Regular self-pleasure IS self-care. Mood boosting, relaxing (great way to fall asleep!) and great for the immune system. But as part of this self-care autumn, I want to challenge myself to create new pleasure paths. What the heck are pleasure paths, you ask?
One example of a pleasure path is the quick release. This is solo sex for the sake of climaxing as quick as possible. And all fine and dandy! We all get that need for a quickie. However, there are other pleasure paths available to us. Slower, with no real goal and based in exploration rather than destination. Now! This takes time, patience and no judgement.
Mindful masturbation can be helpful to ground you in creating new self-care routines around pleasure. I get out my Womanizer OG when I want to slow down and explore new sensations. Now, Pleasure Air feels incredible on my clitoris, but this little wonder is all about the g-spot. With a flexible arm and super soft feel, the OG’s vibrations and Pleasure Air pulses curate a rather special pleasure path. Plus, it’s waterproof! Bathtub solo sex is the pinnacle of self-care autumn vibes!