Why Do Men Send Dick Pics?

dick pics o-diaries

Yes, we’re all different: men are from Mars and women are from Venus and so forth. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But one thing has never been clear to me, something I’ve never seen clearly answered: Why the hell do guys send dick pics?!

Dick picks are classified as “sexual assault”

Recently two German TV hosts gave up their platform to a special 15 minute “exhibition.” While I’ve never been a huge fan of Joko Winterscheidt and Klaas Heufer, this was something completely different. This “exhibition” was presented by author Sophie Passmann and featured different spaces dedicated to some of the varied forms of sexual harassment and abuse women encounter regularly. Famous women such as Stefanie Giesinger, Katrin Bauerfeind and Palina Rojinski all spoke openly about their own experiences with this topic. Rojinski herself hosts the first room and explains that she and her friends have received many photos of male genitals – so-called dick pics – and says: “I find this disturbing and it borders on virtual harassment.”

She is absolutely right! But the question remains unanswered: Why do men do this?

How commonly do men send dick pics?

A survey conducted by the YouGov polling institute clearly shows that men are way ahead when it comes to oversharing. The 2018 survey shows that almost half of British women between 18 and 36 have been sent a dick pic at least once in their lives. And almost 90 percent of these women have been “gifted” with these pictures without being asked. Such high numbers are not unreasonable. I simply have never heard one of my friends saying, “Oh, he’s great but I wish he would send more dick pics.”

By the way, a suspiciously low 5% of the men in this study admitted to having sent an unsolicited masterpiece. A total of 22% confirmed that they had ever sent one to a woman.

Searching for an explanation

Well, firstly, finding an answer to the dick pic question is tough and it boils down to the fact that men don’t like to talk about it. While I have often pondered with my girlfriends why dick pics exist at all, speaking with my male friends has made it clear this isn’t their favorite topic. Most men I know agree with me and act confused about why their peers are so happy to share photos. This speaks positively of my male friends, but it doesn’t really make the clarification of this uh phenomenon any easier.

Do some men really think, “Oh, I like her, I’ll send her a picture of my penis. That way she can see how hot I am and she’ll want to hook up right away!”

Okay, there is often the situation that dick pics are requested. Lots of women share sexy photos or nudes and ask for photos in return. But that seems to be more likely, if at all, in longer-term relationships or repeat flings. The unsolicited ones are more often on Tinder. The photo series can be as surprising as: guy partying, guy at the beach, guy playing basketball and suddenly, guy’s penis.

It’s often said that men in general respond more easily to optical stimuli and, in many cases, would welcome a sexy picture or two. But do some men really think that just by receiving a random photo of their anatomy, a woman will be suddenly keen to fall into bed with them. If anyone really thinks that, then here is some clear advice: No, not every woman is turned on by photos like that – especially when they are unsolicited. In fact, unsolicited dick pics often make women feel disgusted, shocked and extremely harassed. This is a digital form of harassment and I do not know any woman that would respond positively to it.

Or is it vanity?

Hm, of course, it could simply be vanity. There are men who define their manhood by the size of their dick. (And before someone accuses me of being mean to men, I admit that we women can also be very vain). In any case, it is possible that a generously-equipped man is so proud that he wants to show it off. And what is the easiest way to do that? Digitally! Or is it that a man simply wants to show how relaxed, uninhibited and open-minded he is with this action? You see, I have made a few attempts at explanation, but in the end I don’t know. I don’t know why some men send dick pics. But I do know that unsolicited dick pics are a huge turn-off. So I beg you, dear men who feel like it: Only do it when you’ve been EXPLICITLY told to get explicit. Otherwise, please keep your pants on.

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A few years ago, Julia Heyne moved to Berlin. Not because of love, but to deal with love on a daily basis. She headed the erotic department at BILD.de for seven years and because that wasn't enough love, lust and passion, she wrote a book about online dating in 2016. Today she has renounced online dating, but continues to write for O*Diaries about the most beautiful minor matter in the world. In her spare time, she also enjoys unromantic things like mountaineering, reading and ghostwriting for various book projects.