If you’re a woman who has never had trouble achieving an orgasm, congratulations. You’re a unicorn. If you’re one of the other 99.99 percent of women, you’ve probably had at least one experience mentally beating yourself up for not being able to reach a climax during sex, which most likely culminated in frantically Googling various illnesses to find out what’s “wrong” with you.
The truth is, there’s almost certainly nothing wrong with you, except the fact you’ve been conditioned to believe you should orgasm every time you have sex. And that’s for a reason!
The role of the clitoris
While sex in the movies and porn almost never acknowledges the role of a woman’s clitoris in achieving orgasm, the fact is, it’s estimated around 80 percent of women require clitoral stimulation in order to climax. That means no matter how good your partner’s penis feels or how talented of a lover he is, unless one of you is inviting your clit to the party, you may be left frustrated.
Why can’t I orgasm? Try a toy
The first step to getting your orgasm back is to stop fixating on it. Obsessing about anything is a surefire way to sabotage your chances of success. The second step is to incorporate fingers and toys into sex. Try adding a clitoral suction toy, like the Womanizer, into foreplay to help increase clitoral blood flow so you’re closer to the Big Oh by the time you get to penetration. All Womanizer products are based on the Pleasure Air Technology. Which means: No worries about overstimulation of your beautiful source of joy.
Hey, woman! You are perfectly normal
And the last step is to tell yourself you’re not broken. You’re actually perfectly normal. Orgasms are incredible, but if you can’t achieve one, sex – be it the kind involving another person, or the kind you have on your own – can still be a wondrous, magical experience. So just relax, and enjoy the ride…and don’t think too much about the question “Why can’t I orgasm?” anymore.