Self-Love 2023: Why this year’s love affair is with myself

self love o-diaries

Happy Valentine, my dears! Whether you’re spending the day with your sweetheart or enjoying solo time, it’s important to treat yourself to a big dose of self love. That’s why, as my only good 2023 resolution, I’ve decided to be big on self-love this year.

What is self love and why should it be a resolution?

They seem to be as much a part of every new year as Raclette is to New Year’s Eve: good resolutions. And they usually sound like this: From now on, I’ll exercise every day/I won’t eat any more chocolate/I won’t drink any alcohol for at least four weeks/I’ll finally tidy up my place. Honestly? Yawn, I can’t hear it anymore.

In the last few years, I’ve already decided to stop the crap of resolving every January to become a supposedly better version of myself. Why? First, because I usually failed and by mid-January at the latest, I was sitting there – with a glass of wine in my left hand and a cigarette in my right. And because that frustrated me so much, I immediately followed it up with an XL packet of candy.

What is self love? Well, at some point, I realized that I didn’t want to become a “better” version of myself, but a happier one. And that cutting out wine, cigarettes, and chocolate without compromise is not at all conducive to my personal happiness. This led me to the question: what actually makes me happy? In recent years, I was firmly convinced that a partner would make me happy. But I have also rethought this opinion – just in time for the new year.

Self-love 2023: How to practice self love

I still think that it contributes to happiness in life to have a partner at your side who makes life a little more exciting, fun, beautiful, and sparkling. A pot and its lid are both round things. And for a few months now, I too have had someone who definitely has “lid” potential. It’s nice, no question about it. Nevertheless, I am aware that in the future I also want to be the whole unit solo too. I want to be my own best friend, my “partner in crime” and my dearest partner.

It’s simple: I know that I have to love myself sincerely in order to be able to love other people. I feel really good when I treat myself the way great love should be treated. And so on this New Year’s Eve, I toasted to a very special relationship in 2023: the one with myself.


Self-love 2023: Learning self love

From now on, I love, respect, and honor myself until death do us part… Well, easier said than done. While we usually treat our friends and partners generously, patiently, and lovingly, we treat ourselves like a teacher treats their student. Mostly because we recognize that other people are allowed to make mistakes and that we should sometimes let things go.

But when it comes to ourselves, perfectionism comes into play. We can’t make any mistakes, everything always has to be tip-top. As a result, we are constantly beating ourselves up and love ourselves too rarely. So the biggest challenge is to send perfectionism packing right now and to practice gentleness, kindness, and patience. And do it to ourselves. It takes a little time, but it can be learned. I promise. And once you’ve got this duty down, then comes the freestyle…

Self-love 2023: Self love tips

Not constantly beating yourself up is step one on the way to a healthy, and happy relationship with yourself. But there are a few other tricks I would like to share with you.

Explore & pamper your body – it is your temple

Our body is our foundation, our most important possession. And yet, we often don’t treat it the way it deserves. For healthy self-love, it is important to celebrate your body. To pamper it with good food, sufficient rest, and joy. And it’s important to really understand it. Luckily, the exploring phase is really fun, because self-love is the key. If you have solo sex regularly, you know every hotspot and every need of your own body. So you can put that on your to-do list for the new year.

Womanizer OG

My favorite for special solo time: the Womanizer OG teases my g-spot with Pleasure Air kisses…

Womanizer DUO 2

This year loving myself is all about twice the pleasure with Womanizer’s DUO 2…

Try new sex toys – they will take your me-time to another level…

Regular solo sex is healthy and makes you feel good about your body. But to prevent this from becoming a routine, it’s always a good idea to get some technical helpers on board. And the world of sex toys is growing and growing, the selection is huge nowadays.

Whether vibrator, stimulator, applicator, wearable or love balls – we are spoiled for choice. I do have my ‘all-time favorite’ with the Womanizer OG, but for even more self-love and fun, I’ve decided to try out new toys in 2023 as well. Womanizer released the DUO 2, an even more powerful dual clitoral and g-spot stimulator for full body waves of pleasure and orgasms…

Be honest with yourself

I think the cornerstone of a good relationship is honesty. This also applies to our relationship with ourselves. Those who sincerely love themselves are also able to pause, reflect, and also deal with self-criticism. Solving problems paves the way to being absolutely at peace with oneself.

Have fun and treat yourself

For many people it is important in a good relationship to have fun together, to do great things and to really enjoy themselves. Of course, this is especially fun in a couple, but you can do it just as well on your own. For my relationship with myself, I have resolved to pamper myself properly – just as I would with a partner. That means good food, wellness, adventure, lots of laughter, and a lot of self-love.

I think this year is the first year I’m sincerely looking forward to putting my good resolution into action. Anyone who needs a little more inspiration should check it out here. On that note, here’s to a wonderful, loving, and hot 2023!

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A few years ago, Julia Heyne moved to Berlin. Not because of love, but to deal with love on a daily basis. She headed the erotic department at for seven years and because that wasn't enough love, lust and passion, she wrote a book about online dating in 2016. Today she has renounced online dating, but continues to write for O*Diaries about the most beautiful minor matter in the world. In her spare time, she also enjoys unromantic things like mountaineering, reading and ghostwriting for various book projects.